When I started this blog, it was primarily to focus on the lives and experiences of mature women. I wanted to host a platform for honest, open, fun, adult, informational, and inspirational dialogue. On some level I think I have accomplished/am accomplishing that, and at the very least trust that I am on the right track. As I consider this precious gift of crafting and connecting that has flowed to and through me, I am abundantly grateful for every writing and extremely happy with everything I have posted. I am also thankful for this blessed opportunity of creativity and the ideas that continue to find their way into me. I am satisfied with it all. (I am still trying to figure out how to get more engagement from readers and how to increase my readership and subscribers.)

However, I have also recently come to myself about some of the blog content of Hormones and High Heels. As I scroll back through the topics covered, I realize that one of the things I have not been is - totally honest - which was one of the major goals of the platform. In my posts “Passing the Torch”, it speaks about transitioning away from having periods and being a vessel of giving life and doing so graciously. In “Generations” the theme is about watching my grand-daughter and our adolescent girls beginning their evolution into young womanhood”. In “Happier” we explored what it means to be satisfied and content with finding new avenues to pursue happiness while living a mature existence. With “I Am Changing”, it covers the reality and a beginning of the conversation of what going through ‘the change’ is about, how it feels, and how we manage this stage of life. Each of the posts has a happy and somewhat neat conclusion, and that is a beautiful thing. Hopefully it reaches truth and provides inspiration, insight, a good laugh maybe, but ultimately, is informative and thought provoking.

But what I want to address right now is something that struck me and got me out my bed and guided my fingers to this keyboard. And as it came to me, it told me, “Now this is some real adult and mature honesty for your ass”. It began with this candid and real-life proclamation – “Growing older isn’t always pleasant”. As my friend Barbara once said, “This thing takes courage!!!” And for as much as there are many life lessons and beautiful things to look forward to and explore on this journey, there are some things that as I consider this viewpoint, that are not so nice and neat. In previous posts, “The Things I Want To Remember” and “The Things I Don’t Want To Forget” I shared some of the challenges that occur when the memory starts or has begun to fade and the many things that I want to retain in the cognitive aspects of my life.

This right here is about addressing and acknowledging some of the things that I really miss about my youth and being young. And I am calling on my maturity, honesty, and creative integrity to step forward as I open myself and Hormones and High Heels to elicit, take in, receive and stand up to this truth. And though some of these may seem to be regrets because maybe they are, they are also a reflection of what happens as we get older and look back on life with clenched fists or open hands, a regretful heart or a welcoming spirit…….

So here are some of the things that I miss….. In spite of the times and condition of the world, I miss the times when I was young and didn’t have to care about the world. I was free to just be me. Be an open vessel for life and learning and having an innocence and a young youthful snap back body, exploring the consequences, pitfalls and glory of love and being loved, creating and finding my niche in life, celebrating the nights of parties and socializing with strangers who became friends, getting out of the bed without a groan, not being the voice of wisdom but rather a wide-eyed explorer on a quest for answers while unveiling opportunities and having the energy to pursue them, not looking back, being self-absorbed, and not being afraid that if I didn’t do it today, tomorrow might be too late because time was on my side, being adventurous versus courageous, taking a nap because I felt like it or was bored and not because I was tired or didn’t have anything else to do.

I know youth has its’ own set of challenges and it ain’t all pretty. But there are some extremely beautiful and touching things about it and maybe that’s what we should be sharing with our young. We know they have plenty of stress to endure, but we don’t want them to miss out or ignore the goodness of this time of their lives. And I wanted to take this time to indulge my feelings and thoughts about what we often don’t give ourselves permission to think and feel about, at least out loud or publicly so others can hear and/or see. Some real, get to the heart and gut of it truth that only a mature and grown person will know and understand.

Here in Hormones and High Heels, we are going deeper and we are going richer. All the things that will be unearthed are yet to be revealed. But the weight, integrity, and gravity of this assignment is beckoning me to be fearless and trust the Spirit that has driven the facilitation of Hormones and High Heels to take me where it would have me to go and where it wants this vehicle to find itself.

Honestly, I am both nervous and excited, but here goes……