As women, it seems that many times when we are payed a compliment, especially about our appearance, for some unknown reason, it is very difficult for us to take it in and just say “Thank You”.  Almost immediately we are compelled to point out our imperfections and give reason(s) as to why the compliment is not warranted or is simply untrue.  And all too readily we find and speak words to diminish or dismiss the validity of what we just heard by turning the focus to what will contradict it or to another altogether different aspect of our self, refusing to own the goodness that came our way. 

What makes us afraid of being and claiming our beautiful selves? Just say “Thank you”. 

Generally, our responses are, “Yeah but……” or “really?” with a flustered look of embarrassment or an incredulous look of doubt plastered on our face, as if this is a jaw-dropping and ridiculous impossibility.  And that train of thought and behavior translates into an unconscious and often inconspicuous internal conversation that may sound something like, “if you only knew” or “if you could only see me as I see myself, you wouldn’t let those words cross your mind, much less pass through your lips because the mirror of my mind’s eye calls you a liar.” “Let me help you to take the positivity out of your perception of me because it is out of alignment, and I don’t deserve it.” 

What do you think would happen if we just said, “Thank you”?

How heartbreaking it is that we have become so familiar with self-doubt, unworthiness, and feelings of not good enough, while assuming duplicitous ulterior motives disguised as compliments, that we aren’t able to just say “Thank You.”  How sad we are unable to accept appreciation.  How tragic that self-affirmation has been silenced by our own voice of dis-ease and personal dislike, not to mention the malicious associations or encounters that may have contributed to the skewed view we have adopted and adapted to.  Too much, too little, too big, too small, too tall, too short, almost always toooo tooooo, tooooo……. of this or that.  Never just “thank you” in recognition of the flesh and blood jewel that stands before our very self as an imperfect piece of perfection. 

What would the experience be like for us if we rejected the lie and embraced the truth?  Just say “Thank you”.

Yet we get offended and indignant when someone else dare says anything negative about us.  We are ready to cuss them beyond vocabulary, or pull out the metaphorical jar of Vaseline.  It’s like saying, I can dog, deny, and be cruel to and about myself in ways that you know nothing of, but don’t you dare insult me and vocalize agreement that I have not made you privy to.  How crazy is that????  How outrageous that we have concocted and nurtured this self-demeaning and self-defeating mantra that’s always at the ready to snuff out our light with words like, “I’m not, I want to be, I ought to be”, and almost never do we give voice to and challenge that defeating message with a truth that declares, “I am worthy of positivity, approval, and applause”, “Thank you”. 

Self-debasement is not humility.  Self-deprecation is not honorable.  And there is no glory in disparaging ones’ self.  It is vile.  It is ugly.  It is inhumane.  And it is a deadly sin.

I would also suggest that by virtue of our role-modeling, we have passed this ugly reality into the self-concepts of many of our girls, teens, tweens, and young adults.  And as such, it is our responsibility to exterminate this toxic and tiresome malady that sits at the foundation of our mental health and well-being, draining the life’s light out of both are young and our old.  These menacing ideas and perceptions that we have brought into of ourselves have tangled, knotted up, and confused our understanding of self-love, and misinformed true self-acceptance.  They threaten to destroy the capacity for genuine friendship, and twist wholesome competitiveness into purposeful destruction.  And most importantly and above all, they absolutely wear us out emotionally, psychologically, physically, and wholly, making us our own collateral damage.  So much so that we can’t even say “Thank You”. 

In the bible it is written, “Walk before Me and be thou perfect”, (Gen.17:1 KJV).  Not my words but God’s word.  And I have been told that there are three things that God even in His Supreme Sovereignty cannot do.  God cannot lie, die, or be less than God. Therefore, by Divine definition we are – whole, complete, unique, and perfect. 

As we show up created in His image and Majesty, let us just say – “Thank you”

Discussion Question - If you think there is validity to this assertion / observation, why do you think we have a difficult time saying “Thank You”?

If you have a different perspective, please share.

Everyone is welcome to join in the conversation