From the time I was in the 7th grade until I began to experience the change, I was a size seven, soaking wet. I didn't have a lot of body definition – small legs, a minimal bump where a nice curvaceous ass would have liked to reside, slim hips, slight but proud high perky breasts, and a waistline that I never had to consider. However, everything fit. Except pants, always had a problem with them because of these long slender legs that make men wonder where they end, and caused side-eye envy in many of my beloved sisters. I remember being flattered by the complimentary pronouncement that "I was built for speed". And let me tell you Honey, if the clothiers and designers could have loved an African American model (not popular back then) that would have made their customers salivate at the sight of their fashions come-to-life, that person was me. See, I knew how to carry my little bit like it was a whole lot of something. Because in fact, it was. Now I know this may sound braggadocios ……But just stay with me. I am going somewhere with this.

Like most youngsters back in the day, I was very active, up and out every day, rain or shine, (unless of course I was on punishment, but even then I couldn’t sit still). I played basketball, softball, street football, jump rope, hop scotch, bottle top, dodge ball, street racing, bike riding, dancing, hoola hoop and the list goes on and on. And after that time of endless, dizzying and never-too-tired-to-do-it-again childhood recreation and through my progression into my womaness, I still maintained my athleticism and engagement in extra-curricular activities. However, as life and time marched on, my interests began to gravitate more towards grown folk's rhythm and my gait and focus shifted in accordance. But I kept it moving, I partied til the wee hours of the morning, and cut up with the best of them. No grass growing beneath my feet. I had a wonderful time and experience of growing up and hanging out with my various groups of friends. Some of them are still very dear to me while others have made for sweet or at least satisfactory memories.

But as I transitioned into adulthood and despite having an active life and lifestyle, I left unattended something essential to my very existence. As a child/youngster, I did and lived it unintentionally. And as a mature(ing) woman, I need(ed) to reclaim and do it intentionally.
What am I referring to?
I stopped allowing my body to express, heal, and nurture itself naturally through the active participation of physical play and exercise. I began to falter in the art of dynamic motion and enthusiastic movement. I stopped doing and starting witnessing. And more than "active", I think "busy", (which at one time I thought were one and the same) would be a more accurate description of my life. AAAAHHH, But I still looked good so I never considered another reality. That is until the day when the doctor said “you gained 7 pounds.” Ob-gyn six months later, said I gained 5 pounds. And I couldn't understand what was happening to my body. Where was this inexplicable weight coming from? (Another example of something else I wasn’t prepared for). I thought 7 would be my forever size. However, No longer ---- go get in them 10's. Okay, no problem. Hell, I still look good and they say, (whoever "they" are) that "as you get older you look better with a little more weight on you".
But another cycle or so of this and I went up another size. My body started losing the grown woman accent and curves, which it took me quite a while to get. I began to see question marks and parenthesis where my tight waistline and stomach used to be. Next thing I know, here comes the discomfort. Lack of energy. Complacency. Complaining. Heavy breathing. Rather ride than walk, sit than stand. And I remember quite vividly the nylon stockings thigh rub thing that stopped me dead in my tracks and made me ask myself "what is that noise?" (ch ch ch ch, swish, swish, swish) And for the life of me, I don’t understand why my perception ain’t jiving with the physical reality standing in the mirror.
TIME TO PUMP THESE DAMN BRAKES…….TIME TO GET PURPOSEFULLY INTENTIONAL
What I have come to understand is that “thin” doesn’t guarantee your/my being a healthy well-being, and “thick” doesn’t make you unhealthy. Both have the capacity to be either. There was a time when because of my size, I thought exercise was an option, an unnecessary activity and pretty much useless unless I want to lose weight, which I didn’t. But I now know the muscles I allowed to begin to atrophy started within a slender and fit, young woman. I didn’t consider that this vessel needed to remain engaged in providing a strong, solid, durable and enduring frame for me to enjoy and appreciate life. I didn’t consider that it is susceptible to the realities of aging and environmental and hereditary factors and influences.

So now I’m in the gym. Not like I would like to be because, I am busy, tired, sometimes not motivated and because this shit is HARD AND IT HURTS. And coupled with that, this flesh is not so amenable as in the good ole days when I was more agile, had greater stamina, was much more flexible and possessed the endurance to push through. And now, some days rather than exercise, I want to just stomp my feet, hold my breath til I pass out, huff and puff and poke out my full lips, fold my arms across my ample breasts and refuse to move, just like an irate toddler or teen or maybe a pissed off grown assed woman, (hahaha) who didn’t take care of the business of her business when she had the energy but not the inkling. Nevertheless, I am working on once again getting fit, toned, reclaiming some definition, and perhaps losing some pounds. But in spite of, this is not necessarily a bad place to be.
In order to assure or re-establish a certain physical quality of life, we as women and girls and teens and tweens have to make our schedules accommodate the need to go and do some cardio work for our heart, arteries, lungs and limbs, and keep the blood pumping. We have to get on the elliptical machine to work the tightness and tiredness out of our glutes, hamstrings and legs while strengthening our derriere muscles. Atrophy, sagging, and “dimples” are real but not mandatory. We have to feel the fatigue and stick with it anyway. Maybe do some push-ups, and press and lift weights, to regain upper body strength, and tighten our abs, sweating through it all. Might have to swim or participate in total body conditioning classes to burn fat and build and stretch our muscle. And we must never, ever forget to dance ourselves right out of our high heels. But if walking is what we can manage, we have to do it. Pilates, Yoga, Barre, Salsa, Zumba…….floor, chair, or standing. It’s not just our sexy, though that may be good motivation, but we do this because our lives depend on it. High blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems, arthritis, chronic pain, fatigue, and the endless list of ailments have got to go.
Let’s get back to the playground and have some fun
Let’s be intentional Well Beings

Being A Well-Being