Recently, I attended a celebration and had occasion to talk with the group of women who were seated at my table. Some I knew, some I remembered and some I just met. And because it was a diverse and unfamiliar group, although we chatted up a bunch of stuff, for the most part we just skimmed the surface. But skim or deep dive, somehow, we inevitably got to the topic of men, women, sex and relationships.

Now I'm going to take a leap and conclude that this is a subject that many mature women, especially singles want to talk about but are too embarrassed to broach or are unsure about the reception they will receive should they be bold enough to speak. They/we don't want to appear desperate, uncertain, horny, outdated or shamefully single. Nevertheless as we take heart, we find ourselves wading at first, ankle deep in the waters of talking-aloud-about-our-woman-needs-desires-fears-challenges-and-hopes. Eventually we get wet. (figuratively, literally and hopefully actually)

When we are mature and single, we may want to poo-poo away our need for romance and sex as though we stopped being human beings who have a natural inclination and yearning to love and be loved, to touch and be touched, and to desire and be desired. This allows us to not look too sad and we certainly don't want others to feel sorry for us or look at us side-eyed and snicker or look us straight in the face and laugh at our ridiculousness for still have the longings of youth when that time of life is now behind us. (Or so they/we think or say)

As we mature, we sometimes fear, feel and think that we are no longer complete women and that we have diminished in our attractiveness (gained or lost weight, been through or have health challenges, haven't cared for ourselves well, gray hair etc.). Maybe our breast sag, or our tummy has a bulge or we have dimples on thighs that were once firm and muscular. And we might have disillusioned ourselves into the belief that our time of vitality has abandoned us leaving behind only the notion of wholesomeness absent the actuality of wholeness.
We fret and become angry that the men (or women) our ages are looking for younger versions of who we are and what we used to be. That the men (or women) who are younger who do give us attention are only interested in our assets and not our personal value and worth. That our bodies aren't as agile and flexible as they once were when they allowed us to be the erotically flavorful wonder that we once secretly and not so secretly prided ourselves on being.

So during the course of this table conversation, one woman said while smiling very sheepishly, "I'm not looking for anybody. I'm happy just as I am". She said it with a question mark where the exclamation point would have been if she had been grammatically correct in her intention. And I could tell when she said it, that she really didn't have conviction in the statement but she was looking for validation to know that that was alright and that I understood. Now if that was her truth, then so be it and God bless her. But I sensed that what she spoke was her fear and not her heart's hope.

And quite frankly, I wasn't going to permit her to speak that spirit into my existence, so I simply said, "I am happy and grateful for my life and all that I have, but I always want that "happier". "That" love, sex, relationship, fun that would make my smile brighter, my load lighter and my day more thrilling, my life more fulfilling, and my time on this earth more beautiful and fun.
Ladies, friends, comrades – if you want to be loved, say it, look for it, and don't give up on it or yourself. If you want to be desired, say it, be it don't give up on it or yourself. If you want to be in a healthy relationship say it, seek it, and don't give up on it or yourself. If you want to be touched say it, create opportunities for it and don't give up on it or yourself.

Every success we have ever had or will ever have has come with fear and courage, failure and faith, challenge and hope, struggle and commitment, and doubt and trust. So rather than give in to the first inclination, throw down the gauntlet of courage and faith and hope and commitment and trust and get your love, get your satisfaction, get your sex and sexy back, get your passion, get your pleasure, get your laughter, get your dance and your quiet moments of sweet companionship. Bring and find yourself not just wading in but being fully submerged, splashing and swimming in the waters of "Happier" because you have honored and kept alive all of you and your woman-self/hood - Esteemed, Reverenced, Cherished, Regarded, Satisfied, Satiated and Quenched.